Maeda's SIMPLICITY

Sorry

I've never liked leaders that don't apologize when they are wrong. But in my life I've seen that the norm tends to ones that don't ever say they are sorry. Saying sorry is really bad because it implies an admission of guilt. In an increasingly legal-sensitive world, hand-delivering a clear admission of guilt is like winning the lottery for the other side.

Unfortunately from a young age I was always taught to say "sorry" for practically everything. Sorry for kicking the door; sorry for tearing a piece of paper in half; sorry for eating too fast; sorry for eating too slow; sorry for saying "sorry." You get the drift.

When you set out to do something, you are likely to do something. And when that something doesn't happen in the right way (which is usually the case) and other people are involved, ill feelings are inevitably pointed in your direction. What are you going to do? Well, you can pretend that you've done nothing wrong. Or, you can just go ahead and say you did something wrong. Both directions have their own unique penalty.

Feigning innocence takes a certain kind of character that I wasn't born with. Perhaps my life would be easier if this were the case. If you are genetically so disposed, then you're probably lucky as you never truly feel other's suffering.

Saying sorry always hurts yourself. It makes you feel small. But by doing so, it makes the other side feel big and tall. Raises them up. Does some healing at your own expense. And maybe you deserved it, so the self-punishment is just the medicine that you need. You can then tell yourself next time, "I ain't going to get in that predicament again." Which never really happens as we tend to repeat our own mistakes, but we avoid getting depressed with these little promises to ourselves -- never again. This is good medicine too.

So, I guess I'm sorry that I don't have a strong conclusion for what I am trying to think through here. You can bet that I'll make the same mistake again. And you'll get another apology for certain.